Hibiki Battle Royal
by Kairi 'Shadow Sage' Taylor
Summary: Ryoga Hibiki, in this short story, finds himself in a fight with 3 others with claim to the Hibiki name...and the results are nutty.


Hibiki Battle Royal

By Kairi Taylor

(A vacant lot somewhere. Dan, Hibiki & Ran are standing around, waiting.)  
  
Dan: So...  
Hibiki: ...so.  
Ran: Uh, how come we haven't started fighting yet?  
Hibiki: I have a better question...why have all of us been waiting here for the past three days?  
Ran: You received that challenge letter right?  
Hibiki: Yes. (Holds up letter & reads) I hereby challenge you to a fight at the vacant lot behind Family Mart in Nerima. Don't be late. Signed Hibiki Ryoga.   
Dan: I did too. So?  
Ran: Before coming here, I did a little research.  
  
(Nerima High School.)  
  
Ran: Excuse me, can you tell me about this guy named Ryoga.  
Nabiki: Sure I can give you his whole dossier. Of course, it will cost you, say, 1000 yen per page.  
Ran: Any chance I can get a discount on that? ^_^  
  
(Later...)  
  
Ranma: Ryoga? Yeah, I know him. Pain in the ass sometimes though. Why'd you wanna know about him  
Ran: Here's the thing. He challenged me to a fight in the back of this vacant lot...  
Ranma: Wait. He challenged you to a fight...how long ago did you get the challenge letter?  
Ran: Uh...five days ago. Why?  
Ranma: You have to understand something; Ryoga has no sense of direction. And calculating the time it sent for that letter to get to you, and his last known location...you got a 4 day wait.  
Ran: 0_0 (clasps his hands) Please tell me you are joking.  
Ranma: I wish. (Akane enters, sees Ran with her hands on Ranma's.)  
Akane: What the---YOU JERK!!!!!  
Ranma: Akane!! This isn't what---  
Akane: SHUT UP!!! (Smashes Ranma's face with a desk & proceeds to stomp into him) AREN¡¯T 3 OF US ENOUGH?! HOW MANY MORE FIANCEES DO YOU NEED YOU PERVERTED WATER TOAD?!  
Ran: I don't think there's anyone else who has it worse. (Keitaro Urashima lands besides Ranma)   
Keitaro: I must disagree...  
  
(Present)  
  
Dan: So, how much longer do we have to wait?  
Hibiki: Look. (Points to Ryoga, who's talking to a dog.)  
Ryoga: Do you know which way is the Family Mart vacant lot?  
Dog: BARK!!! (Points to sign that reads 'Talking to stray animals prohibited')  
Ran: Uh...over here.

Ryoga: There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. Are you all ready?  
Hibiki: Just out of curiosity, where did you mail that letter from?  
Ryoga: Okinawa. Why?  
Hibiki: Because you seem to be holding one of those particular items in your sack. (Points to an urn, which has a label that reads 'Kowloon Gift Shop)  
Ran: Can we please get started? I've got finals to attend to, sooner or later.  
  
(The 4 fighters get ready.)  
  
Dan: YOSSH!!!I will conquer you with my very own Saikyo style, Ryoga!  
Ran: ...and to think, we are related. Or are we?  
Dan: LET'S GO!!! (Launches a Gale Kick at Ryoga. Ryoga merely sidesteps & lets Dan crash into a trash can.)   
Ryoga: Are you for real? (Feels a slight change in the air, then back flips as Hibiki rushes at him, sword drawn.)  
Hibiki: You're good. But you... (Makes a beeline for Ran)  
Ran: ACCKKK!!! (Flashes her camera. Hibiki is momentarily blinded.)  
Hibiki: No fair! You can't fight with a camera!  
Ran: Hey, he's fighting with an umbrella!  
  
(Hibiki ducks a swing from Ryoga. At the two duke it out, Dan gets out of the trash can, garbage all over him.)  
  
Dan: That didn't go so well. Ah, there are my targets! IKUZURE!!! (Dashes in, Dan prepares to launch an all new and improved Gadouken...which only can travel 2 feet more than usual.)  
Ryoga: SHI SHI HOUDOUKAI!! (Ryoga unleashes a much, much, much LARGER fireball than normal, knocking out Hibiki & slamming Dan into the ground, face first.)  
Dan: Ow...that hurt. But I've had worse. (Gets up.) Give me your best shot!  
Ryoga: Very well!! (Punches at Dan, but makes contact with his outstretched palm)  
Dan: Kyuukyoku Tenchi Gadou Zuki!!! (Glows blue as he prepares to strike Ryoga.  
Ryoga: Crap! Here, try this! BAKUSAI TENKETSU! (Strikes the ground causing a massive explosion. When the smoke clears, Ryoga is standing over a quite unconscious Dan)  
Ran: Wow.  
Ryoga: Do you wish to fight too?  
Ran: Uh no, thank you. I've seen enough.   
Ryoga: Care for something to eat?  
  
(Cat Cafe)  
  
Ran: This kind of thing is normal for you guys?  
Ryoga: Yeah. With the Dojo Destroyer, Gambling King, Seven Lucky Gods martial Artists & Happosai, this fight was a relief. (Shampoo enters, carrying two bowls.)  
Shampoo: Here orders of ramen. (The Ghost Cat enters.)  
Ghost Cat: Shampoo! Be my bride!  
Shampoo: Crazy cat not touch Shampoo! (Wallops Cat with bonbari. Mousse jumps in!)  
Mousse: Leave my beloved Shampoo alone, you fiend (has Ryoga in a headlock.)  
Ryoga: Get contacts dumbass!  
Ran: And I thought Batsu's family was insane...


End file.
